I'm two weeks behind the pay date and I am super broke. The end season sale is too delicious that I feel depress each time I walked out of a store. And when I am in depress mode, I tried to figure out things that are not supposed to you know, figured out la. I start to figure out where the other half of my pay has gone to. And all I could think of is bills, shopping, food, bills, shopping, food. Only ten percent was spent of transport. I shop with no worries, and I eat like there's no tomorrow. Punching in your pin code in every store is so addictive I tell you. You don't know the balance in the card, yet you pretended to do some mathematics calculation. And when they say that NETS is unavailable, you go to the nearest Citibank machine and withdraw 100 bucks. Is that the minimum amount you can withdraw at all Citibank machine? I am still trying to figure out actually. And the best thing is, no balance amount is printed on the receipt. So again, you tried doing the balance calculation yourself, which of course; you know that you purposely keep a big balance amount in your mind just to enlighten your already sour heart. It sucks and it sucks even more when you realised you've overspent.

You, whom I was referring all along, are I. Wah, I'm so broke I wished tomorrow is the twentieth.

Anyway, I was thinking a lot about formatting this computer. Apart from having to re-install certain important programs, I have to do some massive cleaning. That's what I've been doing for the past few days. I deleted old pictures I saved since two years ago because today, they are just redundant. Old pictures stay as they are, but people don't stay the same after spending some years together. I did some clearing in my thumb drive to make space for storing of new pictures. I didn't know looking back at old pictures can make me feel, you know, a little awkward. Ape je.

Today, I did nothing impressive. My working desk is still so messy since the day I came back from my MC. There's so many sorting that needs to be done, and how I wished the photocopy machine is just next to my desk. Having to walk 100meters back and fro for more than ten times is no longer fun okay. I blew my nose every half an hour and cough out so loud I think even a sensor can sense the sound vibration and alarm the locked cars. I met the boyfriend after work for dinner. Again, we did simpang, sipping hot Teh Tarik and talk. I missed him so much during the weekdays. The only thing that gives me strength to face each day with a smile is his sweet messages. My boyfriend can be so sweet that I can get diabetes out of it. Or maybe anything close to that. The next six months are going to be hard on me, but I know after the torturing six months, everything is going to be smooth until you forget when was the last time you had to sulk and suffer. Ceh, aku syiok sendiri nampak.

I think I am such a grandmother today. It all started after I realised I am going to be twenty one this year.

LIKE, OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.