THE SECOND AUGUST 1987

Last week, the little one handed me a newspaper she got from school and told me to read a particular passage which inspired her.

"It happens to the best of us. You wake up one day, and realise your significant other or best friend is suddenly no longer fun. The smallest thing he or she does irritates the hell out of you. The way she punctuates every sentence with the word "butofocs", and how you get upset with yourself anticipating it. The way "sweet" little things he does for you, like tidying the kitchen cutlery, only emphasize an obsessive compulsion unbecoming of real men. And yet once, perhaps only yesterday, you worshipped or laughed at everything they did.

That's because you've probably been struck by The Irk. It's an allergic reaction to a person - and to all that he or she does. It strikes mysteriously, almost from nowhere, and happens overnight, even if events leading up to it have been festering over decades. But the scary thing is, The Irk takes a long, long time to go away.

Several theories exist as to why this change in attitude happens. Start with how "familiarity breeds new disgusting behaviour". It's not just about how the things you once thought completely charming have turned you contemptuous with the passing of time. No - it's about how that special friend has now picked up little detestable actions because he knows your generous nature will accept them. Like leaving nail clippings between magazine pages in the bathroom. Or constantly misplacing the ketchup bottle.

The Irk also happens because of too much neediness. You walk around in this relationship as if you are dragging, not quite a ball and chain, but a too-long, overworn skirt with its hem soaked in the grime of co-dependency. Finally, there's that theory about how The Irk reflects on your own insecurities, or dissatisfaction with your own life.

Letting The Irk vanish on its own is a long-term thing. It may take weeks, months - even years. But if you're so desperate for it to disappear, there is one method of last recourse - the tantrum. Because one of the most potent things about it is that it's never, ever verbalized, until the day of unbearable recourse. But a word of warning: Tantrum-throwing has a 50-50 chance of working - crank it up one way and you'll be in tears, hugging your significant other and thinking about how silly and oversensitive you've been. Either that or you'll still be in tears, mourning over the bitter end of a relationship."

Alright, that's The Irk for you.

Couples who are good at de-escalating arguments with humour and compliments are in good shape. Those who shut each other out or jab each other with sarcasm and insults are headed for trouble. It's never easy to handle a relationship and put it in good shape, never. After all, when you both start behaving with bitterness and derision, nobody wins.

Ah okay, macam paham lah kan.